Day 1: Wanting to Be Filled
I’m spending each day here in the month of October writing about finding beauty in the everyday mess. Before you think I’m an expert on this topic, let me confess: I’ve likely already lost my temper, prayed that I could have a solo vacation, and held back frustrated tears this morning. I’m far from having this mastered. I’m writing here transparently so that you and I might grow in seeking His daily extravagant beauty. So pull up a chair and get ready to dive into the mess with me, knowing that somewhere in this mess is a beauty that only God can craft.
The sun is hardly over the horizon as I sit here to type. Just a few rays of it are falling gently on the preschooler painted bird feeder. It’s empty and begging to be filled.
I look at that bird feeder and I see myself.
That large part of me that wants to be filled. The part of me that would like to wear a nice new shirt more than 3 times before it’s stained forever. The part of me that wants to be pretty or well liked or hired. The part of me that wishes I could write better or keep my desk clean or keep all those objects I lose from being lost. The part of me that wants more obedient children or a husband who listens to my dreams. The part of me that cries.
When I’m empty like that bird feeder, my heart is begging for more.
My heart was made for more. But just like a high heeled shoe would look silly inside the bird feeder, none of those things will fill me properly. A bird feeder was meant to hold seed and I was meant to hold seed too: the growing and change producing seed of the Word of God.
Becoming content where I am with my stained shirt and my screaming toddler carried on my hip football style isn’t a matter of filling my world with new circumstances. I’d still be an empty bird feeder in a different tree. New circumstances will not satisfy an empty heart: only the love of God through his Word will fill it.
The mess transforms to beauty only when we dip down and drink of Christ. When we bow before Him begging: “I can’t see the beauty here. I’m poured out and empty serving here. I’m wanting more. Fill me with more of you so that I can see the beauty you’re creating in and around me.”
What feels like a personal crucifixion is the Lord working redemption in us. Redemption requires us to bow low and to beg to be filled:
Bow low with me? Beg Him to help you see the beauty He’s weaving right here, right now in this messy one life we’ve been given.