Day 15: When You Can’t Seem to Make Order from Chaos
I’m spending each day here in the month of October writing about finding beauty in the everyday mess. Before you think I’m an expert on this topic, let me confess: I’ve likely already lost my temper, prayed that I could have a solo vacation, and held back frustrated tears this morning. I’m far from having this mastered. I’m writing here transparently so that you and I might grow in seeking His daily extravagant beauty. So pull up a chair and get ready to dive into the mess with me, knowing that somewhere in this mess is a beauty that only God can craft.
My Bronwyn loves order. This is what she does after waking from a nap in my room every single time, regardless of how many toys I leave out for her to play with.
Her favorite toy right now is a pile of pattern blocks and pattern mats (affiliate link, because when you have a child who loves order, it’s not easy to find the best resources to suit their idea of fun!).
But Bronwyn also thinks her definition of order is the only definition of order.
This is kind of how her verbal process goes
B: After lunch, I’m going to go outside and play.
Me: Okay, and then what?
B: Then you’re going to paint my fingers and get me ice cream. After that I’ll be going to ballet with Reagan and Daddy will pick me up.
Me: Well, it’s not Thursday so you don’t have ballet. Plus it’ll be nap time soon.
B: I say it’s Thursday and I don’t need a nap. (skips off to play… or throws a tantrum…)
She may or may not have inherited that desire for order from me.
Which means that on a string of days (or hours….or minutes) where things are not going my way, you may find me freaking out completely or (on a good day) taking deep calming breaths and praying hard prayers.
When chaos erupts, our initial response should be to bow our heads and surrender. We should look up at a good God and know that he will make what we think is a mess into perfect beautiful order. But He is the one who will give order a definition, not Bronwyn (or I).
When we walk into a mess (relationships, emotions, or just that dreaded laundry pile), we should slip off our shoes and bow low because we’re walking on holy ground.
Seeming chaos is God’s order for changing a human heart. Chaos is holy ground because it’s a place where he is working. Where he’s giving us opportunities to surrender and obey His Word.
When we feel out of control, it’s because He is in control.
God is in control and He’s not concerned with how we define as order or chaos (or failure). He has designed our day around what will be best for us, and not around our tidy little to-do lists.
I want the best for my Bronwyn, which doesn’t mean eating ice cream and going to ballet on everyday she calls Thursday.
God he loves us in the same way: He wants what is best for us. So we can trust Him with the chaos and know that it’s really a beautiful thing.