Day 12: When You ask For Help

31 Days to See Beauty in Your MessI’m spending each day here in the month of October writing about finding beauty in the everyday mess. Before you think I’m an expert on this topic, let me confess: I’ve likely already lost my temper, prayed that I could have a solo vacation, and held back frustrated tears this morning. I’m far from having this mastered. I’m writing here transparently so that you and I might grow in seeking His daily extravagant beauty. So pull up a chair and get ready to dive into the mess with me, knowing that somewhere in this mess is a beauty that only God can craft.


All Four Girls

The thunder rolls in the distance. Derek is settling our babies in the guest cabin. 10 hours of driving has me weary of people in my space.

I sit on her couch to write nestled between walls over 100 years old and pastures and cornfields. Being in close quarters in the car provides all the opportunity we need for the ever present sin of ingratitude to become apparent again.

There is whining and begging and tantrums and tears (and only some of that from the kids). And I snarl at Derek like an angry dog trying to get two kids off a too tall teeter totter at rest stop right over the Illnois border.

“I can’t help you if I don’t know what you need.” Derek quips in return and it reverberates hard.

I’m weak. I need help. There’s no shame in that. But I don’t like to ask.

But what if asking is part of Ephesians 4:29?

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

I have it stenciled there on my coffee table.  Those words about my words.

But what if part of building up those around me with words is asking for help? What if my asking for help has the power to spur someone on to growth.

And as I think these thoughts on a couch in Illinois, I realize that asking for help bulids others up in quite a few different ways.

  • When I ask for help, I am telling my friend the Lord made him/her with gifts that can bless another.  My friend has a purpose and a way to serve.  When I ask for help, I reflect to them a small part of that purpose.
  • When I ask for help, I am revealing my messy weakness in a way that shatters the lies of Satan. Satan is always trying to convince us that we’re not as good good as our friend. He is trying to trap us into comparison and cripple us from completing the specific ministry the Lord created us for. Admitting I need help shatters my friend’s ability to say to herself “Well, she’s got it all together. Why can’t I?”
  • When I ask for help, I am affirming that my friend is valuable to me.  I am saying that they have worth to me. Affirming that I can trust them with my mess and let them walk through that mess with me.

These things are gifts of affirmation to your friend.  Asking for help can help them grow.

So how about you and I commit to asking for help more regularly.  Revealing our mess when we ask for help causes us to humble ourselves and encourages our brothers. Isn’t that real beauty?