True Beauty Conversations: Avoiding the Scars and Smears

Dearest Melissa,

I want to be very careful in this space where we write.

Only speak words that make souls stronger.

I don’t want to judge anyone for making a personal choice to undergo breast augmentation or get a Botox injection. I read this deep and rich post this week, and I feel the need to say that.

I put on make-up. I use products on my face to keep blemishes and lines away. I pluck, tweeze, and will soon be dying the ever-multiplying grey hairs on my head. I work out to keep the size of my thighs and behind respectable.

It’s no different.

I use those products, yank out/color hair, and get my sweat on to enhance what God gave me. To make myself attractive to my husband, and to make myself presentable to the world.

I think part of being a Proverbs 31 woman is enhancing what God gives us–whatever that means for you. This is a careful balance, but one, I believe, is important to share with our daughters.


As I read Proverbs 31, I believe that in the wee hours, when that woman arises and prepares for her day, part of that time involves “prettying” herself:

She clothes herself in fine linen and purple (vs. 22), so I’m sure she took care beautifying the rest of her to go along with those lovely clothes.

The text also says her arms are strong for her tasks (vs 17).  This was before P90X or jazzercise, but she kept herself fit.

Most importantly though, her husband praises her (vs. 28). He uses his words to praise her for what she does, but I bet he also tells her what a little hottie she is too.

Beauty is fleeting (vs 30). Absolutely, that is true. But that doesn’t mean that we should overlook caring for ourselves, and enhancing what God gave us. We need to show our daughters how this is done!

It makes me sad when I see young girls, unflatteringly, squeezing themselves into a pair of skinny jeans–you know what I’m talking about. They “muffin-top” out of the waistband and the extra skin may, or may not be covered by a skimpy tee shirt.

I had lots of dark hair on my legs until I decided that it was time to shave in the third grace. I have the scar on my shin to prove it.

Have you ever seen the beautiful mess that results in a young child smearing applying lipstick to her own face?


The above are all well-intentioned, but misguided and undirected attempts at Beauty.

We need to be involved, and show our daughters how to enhance what God has given them

As mamas we must be involved in helping our daughters choose wardrobes that are stylish and flattering.

We must have an open dialogue about grooming and hygiene, and show them how to do it the right way.

Our children might not rise up and call us blessed (vs. 28) right away, but is our duty to be involved, to encourage and show them the right way. Most of all, by example.  
If we’re lucky, we can avoid some of the scars and smears as they learn about the world of beauty. And who knows–maybe we can get the occasional thumbs up for a job well done.