Mixed-up Pregnancy Body Signals

If I’m feeling bloated, gassy, and uncomfortable, it could mean:
a. I’m bloated and gassy and should feel better if I could just burp
b. I have to pee really badly
c. I should make a beeline to the potty with a book
d. I’m hungry

If my tummy/intestines are making incredible amounts of noise, it could mean:
a. I just enjoyed a nice meal or snack
b. I just drank some liquid
c. I just woke up
d. Olive cat is about to jump on my belly (she loves the new noisiness!)
e. I better make a beeline to the potty

If I have a headache, it could mean:
a. I’m thirsty
b. It’s way past nap time
c. It’s way past bedtime
d. I’ve been staring at the computer screen for too long

If my tummy is hurting, it could mean:
a. This is the last day these pants will button because my tummy spontaneously grew an inch
b. I have been bending over cutting out sewing projects on the floor for too long
c. Olive cat pounced my belly at some point today
d. I better make a beeline to the potty
e. Moonbeam cat is doing some combination of standing/lying on my belly and chest (I swear he thinks it’s his responsibility to keep the eggs warm these days)
f. I’ve ignored the other ambiguous hunger signals and am suddenly RAVENOUS

If I’m crying, it could mean:
a. I just read an article about caring for babies and have no idea why my eyes are leaking.
b. I’m hungry and I swear I just ate less than 20 minutes ago
c. I opened the fridge with low blood sugar and discovered that there is absolutely nothing inside that appeals to me.