Writing

For 1 hour and 20 minutes, the rhythm beats stead like a drum.  I sit down and slurp up a spoonful of soup on the stairs.  If I’m lucky, I get two bites of my lunch before the pounding of little feet outside of their beds.  Up, grab the discipline stick, and spank. Tears and hugs.  The good news shared: “Jesus, can help you.  He loves you.”  Little voices repeating a prayer: “Dear Jesus, help me obey and stay in my big girl bed. Amen.”  I remain calm, praying my own prayer silently as I exit the room: “Dear Jesus, help me obey and discipline these children in love so that they might come to know you.” I sit down and slurp…

For 1 hour and 20 minutes, the cycle continues until 15 minutes before naptime ends two little girls fall silent.  Aeralind sucking her thumb with the blankets over her head only having disobeyed twice.  Dear strong willed Bronwyn asleep literally half out of bed, her spirit still defying, but her body finally giving in.

For 15 minutes, I rest.  Silent.  Thankful for the strength to obey and discipline in love.  Thankful for the support of other mom’s who’ve walked this road of teaching their children the law so they can learn humility.  Learn their need for the Savior.  Learn to accept grace.

And then I rise, nap time hour over.  I walk in their room.  Turn off their noisemaker.  Smile at their sleepy sweetness.  “Girls!  It’s time to play!”  Laugh as both open their eyes slowly and practically roll them at me like teenagers do when parents advise.  I kiss each baby, roll them out of their bed playfully, and tell them to come to the kitchen for popcorn.  They stumble after me like zombies.

They crash into bed (actually ask for it!) at 6:30.  And still they summon the strength to fight daddy for 30 minutes.

The next day, they know.

They know that they can’t win.

They know their parents love them too much to let them win.

They know we’re fighting them for their own good.

But more importantly, they know how to ask Jesus for help.

And I smile irony.  Oh, how Jesus had loved me so much for the eight days prior.  Disciplining me constantly with their crazy toddler bed behavior as I wanted to be selfish, nap, have a break, and not fight this fight.

Please Jesus, help me to obey and discipline these children as you would so that they might come to know You.

Counting 2420-2479 of the good gifts my loving Father continues to give despite my disobedience.

• Husband laughing as I crawl under a trap of computer cords
• Hanging out with Sarah Venn and her girls
• New house and toys for the girls to play with
• Sweet Mandy dropping everything to help me when all chaos broke loose
• Mandy telling me why Sedryn was an absolute no sleeping, no eating fuss bucket: He was sick! Duh!
• Chatting with Mandy
• Real conversation
• Advice and encouragement form Allie and Chelsea
• Derek listening to hard true words with grace for my bluntness
• No fever at the doctors saving Sedryn from blood draw or hospital
• Girls being obedient at doctors
• Sedryn sleeping during the 1 hour 20 minute rumble with the girls
• Laughing as I woke them up at normal naptime ending after only 15 minutes of sleep.  Both looked at me like “Are you crazy?!”
• Seeing strong-willed B asleep half out of her bed- fighting tme to the end
• Aeralind practically rolling her eyes at me when I told her it was time to play
• playfully rooling them out of bed to pop corn and read
• our new love of popcorn
• overtired exhausted girls askign for lseep at quarter to 6
• Girls asleep before 7 after a week of 9pm being the average
• having happy smiling  Sedryn back from sickness
• better sleep at night
• Lots of Derek snuggles in the cold cold night
• Aeralind point at a picture of the Last Supper and declaring “Baby Yasus!”  We’ve never talked about that painting. Incredible
• Only 20 minutes and 1 spanking per girl before they slept for nap today.
• New obsession with  Maple Syrup and salt pan popped popcorn
• Days getting longer
• Discovering Sedryn’s obsession/adoration of the PnP changing table
• Morning at Becca’s
• Becca’s generosity with outgrown toys handed down
• Bronwyn speeding down the driveway on a sooter
• Both girls drawn to bicycles
• Seeing One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are on Becca’s coffee table
• Daylin pushing my girls on swings
• Talking to a pouting Daylin in the trunk of her car
• Becca’s joy at Sedryn
• Cooing happy baby boy
• Boy who wears his emotions on his sleeve
• Spinach grilled cheese sandwich
• Tow tired girls not disobeying me once and staying in their beds- asleep in 15 minutes
• Bronwyn finishing her prayer at nap time on her own.  Saying “Obey” and “big girl bed.”  And after I said ‘thank you for the fun at’ finishing with “Becca’s house!”
• Aeralind’s smile when she says “Dear Yesis.”
• Warm sunshine streaming in
• Derkin tossing in a load of laundry before he left
• glorious mess of toys all over the house
• outside time after nap
• lots of laundry to hand- lots of love in the house
• walking around the lake at a toddler pace as a family
• laughing at Aeralind scared of being able to see between the planks on the bridge
• Sub sandwiches
• Sedryn lying on the grass grinning
• Girls’ asking insistently to go back to Aunt Becca’s House
• Going back to Becca’s
• Derek fixing Becca’s computer
• Beccan kicking us out to get coffee
• Taking Daylin with us
• Laughing as Brady handed Derek a sword and promptly attacked him
• Derek and Danny fighting with noodles.  Danny saying “At least my noodle isn’t pink!…. Okay… okay… we need to stop! My nose is bleeding!”
• Leftovers being reuses again: The Christmas roast- half becoming beef and cranberry soup (yum!) and the other half as beef fahjitas
• Derek reading to the girls through the echo microphone
• Bronwyn saying unprompted “I love you!” to daddy
• Sneaking a slice of my hot homemade chocolate birthday cake

2363-2419

• Watching the Christmas story told by children
  
• The girls asking to watch it over and over “Baby yasus! Star!”
• The star: It just makes me grin
• New vocabulary word: “Party”
• Playing at the museum with grandparents
• Bronwyn and Papa riding a stationary bike
• Carrying Aerie in the Ergo while Baba holds the boy
• Yummy food from dad
• watching girls decorate gingerbread cookies
• Aerie loving the art project-ness of the cookies

• Bronwyn spooning frosting in her mouth and sampling all her cookies

• Shared laughs with Papa

• Laughter and raspberry noises at the girls waking up with gift bags filled with elephants in their cribs
• Girls stopping all Christmas unwrapping to play with their Goodnight Moon game
• Playing with the car ramp
• Me collapsing with the flu down for a nap
• Having that freedom
• Derek having Monday off so I could rest some more
• Lots of grace to deal with screaming Sedryn who doesn’t approve of me eating ice cream before bed.
• Hearing the girls chant “Lobby lobby lobby!” when I told them we’re going to Hobby Lobby
• Treking over to Target to look for how to spend Christmas money from the Maine grandarents
• Stumbling on owl toddler sheets/comforter
• Girls all excited about “bay gel sheets” (big girl)
• Going home with the excitement and spontaneously converting their cribs to toddler beds
• More joy over big girl beds
• When B got tired she informed me “I nap”
• Laughter as B hollared at A “obey obey OBEY!” about staying in her bed
• Only 45 minute struggle to keep them in
• Excitement to tell day about “bagel beds”
• Listening to B tell A “no cry!” every time we closed the door
• Girls sleeping soundly
• Bedtime
• 1 hour of flirt time with a boy who cried every time i stopped talking to him
• Laughing as Sedryn busted out real tears every time Bronwyn yelled “No cry!” at him  I think she scared him or hurt his feelings
• Long awaited date night
• Ruthie, Mandy , & Matt enjoying the wiggles
• Hearing about the girls’ deltight at Ruthie playing their favorite song on the violin
• Ruthie dealing with the curveball of toddler beds with such grace- even with naked diaperless kiddos running around at almost 9pm
• Just talking with Derek
• Fondue!
• Chatting with Mandy, Ruthie, and Derek
• Going over to paint at Ruthie’s new home the next day
• Secret toddler/Sedryn tree art project
• Ruthie’s near tears of joy when the girls delivered her artwork
• Library fun
• Derek leaving a hysterical message to Brad about Ruthie’s “A Pirate’s Night Before Christmas”
• Finding the book on Julia’s Pintrest later that day
• IHOP with the family for Derek’s birthday
• Girls going to sleep in under 10 minutes both nap times today
• Sedryn’s big boy quilt fabic- makes me smile
• Hearing this broadcast on Focus on the Family . A great way to start the epic toddler bed ordeal.
• 4.5 day weekend with Derek
• Moby wrap for unhappy baby
• Finally getting to bake Beef Portobello Turnovers that I’ve had the filling in the freezer for over a month waiting
• watching and overtired drowsy Bronwyn roll out of her toddler bed after extreme couple of nights of toddler bed drama
• Girls who eat spinach
• A partner who sits with me as we fight the girls over staying in bed

We were walking out of church.  Hand in hand with two fiesty skippy running toddlers.

Bronwyn pauses on the sidewalk.  “Moon,”  she says.

I really don’t hear her. Toddler jargon is quite the jumble with more words understandable each day, but momma struggles to learn the language.

She stops, halting me and Aeralind.

“Moon, Momma” she says and points.

I hear it this time and look up to see a beautiful daytime moon.

She smiles and we all gaze upward for a view of common grace.

Why must the toddler always be the better teacher?

Stop, Momma.  Stop and see beauty.

Stop rushing.

Stop trying to do better.

Stop crying in frustration at unconsolable baby boy or toddlers with eggs and flour on the floor.

Stop, Momma.

See beauty.

Really see.

And give thanks in joy.

Counting #2725-2762 beautiful graces I’ve really seen:

• pulling up to the YMCA and hearing little girls shriek “POOL!!!!” with excitment
• Their exclamations making the craziness of getting all 3 of them into the Y worth the effort
• Derek home before us to get dinner finished when we walk in
• soft baby hair burshing my cheek
• both girls on my lap watching animal videos on YouTube
• Girls who eat just about everything- even if they eat all the time
• hambone in a pot-streching an extra meal with broth, yogurt, and potatoes
• warm soup on a cold day
• girls gleefully washing their own dishes

• Ring around the Rosy
• Inviting sweet Dalsys into our family
• Husband getting fridge lock for frazzled wife after 8 eggs and 4 cups milled flour mixed on my floor
• “Lay DEE boog” joy and terror

• Girls saying “I nap” and climbing in my bed to snuggle and suck thumbs

• Moving the kitchen furniture around for the sheer joy of it
• Finally blogging about Julia’s impromptu photography session
• Realizing that I don’t dislike families/toddler/sibling sessions.  I just dislike formal posing.  I love “slice of life.” Running in a park, playing Ring around the Rosy, giggling about bubbles.  I like images that tell stories about people, their relationships, and the joy in the moments truly being lived.
• Growing as a photographer
• Places to go.
• Lovely morning at Mandy’s
• Grown-up conversation
• Girls’ excited about “no men EEs” (snowmen… or Santa… or elves….)
• Girls’ saying they were at Reagan’s house
• More fussy baby “I can’t do this” tears
• Laughter at Derek’s bosses’ joke
• Just when I feel like listing fussy boy on Ebay… Sedryn breaks out the grins
• 20 minutes of a happy grinning boy laying on my lap and flirting shamelessly with me

• Dates with my little girls
• making toys
• Sunday mid-morning nap (a gift from hubby)
• Finding my long lost video camera
• Seeing the moon walking out of church with my girls
• Real conversations with my toddlers
• Knitting hanging from the needles
• Comforting a scared Bronwyn after a bad dream
• Swimming Lessons with Ms. Kylie

• Baby Jesus