Oct
21
2010Mompetitors. I’m not sure where I heard this term, but it makes me laugh. The sad part is, that it makes me laugh because there is truth in this made up word. Moms are getting so caught up in what the ‘right’ way is to raise a child that they alienate other moms who don’t share their views.
A few days ago I was at a park with my girls. They were crawling around my feet while I sat there feeding them a banana. Another mom walked over and the first thing she said to me was:
“I thought they were wearing cloth! You must be a crunchy momma like me.”
For the next ten minutes she proceeded to regal me with tales of how her son’s pediatrican had wanted him drinking out of a cup at 15 months and how her breast milk had more calories than cows’ milk so she didn’t understand what his issue was. And about prefolds, and Blueberry diapers and a few other diaper terms (which I wasn’t altogether familiar with). Meanwhile her 3 year old son is off wrecking havoc on the playground by trying to take a living dog from another little girl. And I can’t get in a word edgewise. Finally, I’m able to say that I only cloth diaper because I’m cheap and prefer to save the two grand a year we would have spent on diapering twins. She looks at me aghast and more or less looses interest in me.
And I sighed a sigh of relief
Suddenly mothering has all these labels. Crunchy and Silky. Attachment parenting and Baby-wise parent. Co-sleepers and crib sleepers. Spankers and positive reinforcement only. It’s a crazy world to be thrown into and it all starts when you birth a child (or two).
Now if someone were to give me a label it would probably be “Chewy” or the coin word for somewhere between crunchy and silky. I’d get that label because I do things on both sides of the parenting fence.
I didn’t do formal sleep training, but I did cry it out.
I use cloth diapers, but I don’t object to disposables.
I make my own baby food, but I buy local and non-organic.
I use corporal punishment for direct disobedience, but I prefer to use positive reinforcement most often.
I love and sort of ascribed to the idea of baby-led weaning as far as finger food goes, but I did spoon feed and I am the one initiating the end of the breastfeeding relationship.
I vaccinate my children, but I do so selectively.
But the truth of the matter is that none of that matters. None of it. But most of us moms don’t see that and get caught up in this mom-competitive world.
I actually had a long conversation about this with a good friend. Despite my merciless way of telling people like it is (when I know them well enough), I am pretty sensitive. My feelings get hurt easily and I tire of insinuations that because I’m not doing what you’re doing then I’m doing something wrong.
Now, understand me, I know there are solid absolute truths when parenting children. Most of these truths are recorded in scripture and come to life with the gospel. Parenting requires teaching the Law through the teaching of obedience and the application of discipline. But like the gospel, healthy doses of grace should be sprinkled throughout our lessons.
However, the choice to let my children chew on a rock because I know no ultimate harm will come from it is not wrong. Perhaps it’s different that the choice you would make, but that’s okay. I’ve chosen to allow my children to explore nature and that does not make me negligent. It was a choice. It was my choice to make.
And the truth is, if we all made the same choices (were all crunchy or silky or chewy or whatever) there would be no diversity.
And without diversity there would be no one to learn from.
So what I’m learning is to let stuff go. To ignore comments that seem judgmental (or maybe really are) and to keep my tongue from making similar comments. Because the truth is none of it matters in the grand scheme of things.
What matters is that we all have the same goal: to bring our children to the foot of the throne of Jesus Christ.
Oct
18
2010I love fall.
I love the leaves falling,
the temperature dropping,
the warm snuggles under the covers,
and the colors showing so vibrantly.
The steady march of change.
Ironically,
despite my love of fall,
I hate change.
I hate when after sleeping through the night for months,
a baby awakes for a snack.
I hate when after enjoying their company for so long,
a friend moves away.
I hate when the joy of a moment has been savored,
and then the moment passes.
But one thing I’m learning is that
change is what God uses to keep me dependent upon him.
Without change I become comfortable.
And with comfort comes the one thing He despises most:
complacency (noun): self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies.
So He changes everything: the seasons, my life, my children, my relationships.
In change, I glimspe the actual danger of sin.
In change, I know my deficiencies.
And thought I hate change, I will worship the Creator of change.
I will give thanks to the One who never wavers: the One who is Unchanging.
842. The signs of change ripening in the form of pumpkins
843. The truth that I fail.
844. The bigger Truth that Jesus is the propitiation of my sins: He is the one God looks upon when evaluating my righteousness. So my failures (while terrible) don’t count against me (though they do grieve me).
845. Hanging onto that truth at a 4:30 wake up… even after multiple failures
846. Watching Bronwyn play in a Cozy Coupe at Daylin’s birthday
847. Daylin pulling out my present, asking me what each item was, and, after laying them on the ground, declaring “I like it!”
848. Aeralind wallowing in the sandbox: snotty nose and all
849. The girls gobbling down hot dogs for the first time at Day’s party
850. Talking to Lisa at Day’s party about the difficulties of raising kids with potential issues with dairy
851. Runny noses disappearing 2 days after taking them off whole milk
852. The girls chewing on and climbing all over pumpkins at the pumpking patch
853. Sweet hugs and cuddles
854. The hope that tomorrow brings
Oct
11
2010Tap
Tap
Tap
It’s all I can hear at the moment.
There’s a wood pecker on my roof, doing what he was made to do.
I, in my pink socks and Chaoco’s, race out with my camera to see if I can capture his beauty.
I catch a glimmer of it as it flies away, but the evidence of his recent work is laid before my eyes.
Isn’t that just like God? You can hear Him working, you can see the evidence of His labor over time, and if you’re lucky you can catch a small glimpse of Glory out of the corner of your eye.
And so I sit down here, doing my own version of
Tap
Tap
Tap
on the keyboard.
Counting out those glimpses of Glory and saying Thank You.
Doing what I was meant to do.
806. A woodpecker to keep me company during naps
807. Derek making and feeding the girls (and sometimes me!) breakfast more days this week than I have
808. A husband who willingly helps out
809. Watching little girls sleep
810. Helping Mandy move
811. Watching Reagan chew on a box
812. Bronwyn obeying a “Don’t touch” command, even though it took all her strength and she sat down and whined about it
813. Ruthie carrying the girls in to bible study
814. An afternoon with Becca
815. Talking about a situation that I’ve been stewing over with Becca
816. Clarity and good advice
817. Peace
818. Laughter about the girls chewing on rocks and sticks
819. Having the courage to ask a bible study mom (who I really admire) to go with the zoo with me…
820. …even though I couldn’t remember her name
821. Getting to know that mom: Karen
822. Having Gospel oriented conversation with Karen
823. No pretenses: Being free to say–I’m broken and I don’t have it all together
824. Aeralind digging in the mulch at the zoo
825. Bronwyn climbing all the way to the top of the slide at the zoo when I was busy changing her sister’s diaper
826. Aeralind learning to stand up all on her own and the pride she has in doing it
827. Bronwyn quickly learning the same skill so she can get praise too.
828. Watching my children thrive on praise and knowing uncertainly the truth of Eph. 4:29
829. Aeralind chasing around an acorn at the park and squealing as it moved away from her
830. Brownyn trying to share mulch with the other moms at the park {even if they ignored her ): }
831. A three day weekend for hubby!
832. Playing at a park with Derek and the girls
833. All of us eating sub sandwiches for lunch
834. Being down to one nursing a day!
835. The girls seeming to do okay on whole milk (though Bronwyn has a runny nose that concerns me…)
836. Discovering that fleece makes much better diaper wipes than flannel
838. Finishing Daylin’s birthday dress, purse, headband, and twin baby dolls with only a few scraps left.
839. Aeralind sprouting 5 3/4 teeth to catch up with her sister in 6 weeks with little complaint!
840. Daily simple grace
841. 13 months with these beautiful quirky babies that God entrusted us with.
Oct
06
2010I was suddenly struck the other day by how much my girl can communicate. They were in the tub and I was asking them for “Splashes” while they violently hit the water shrieking in glee. Wow, they understand so much! I thought you might like to be introduced to twin speak version 12 Months.
Aeralind Grace
Verbalizes
Momma (her favorite word)
Daddy
Hi
Signs
More
All Done
Claps
Points
Can touch her nose and tummy on request (if she’s feeling up to it…)
High Five
Bronwyn Hope
Verbalizes
Momma (rarely)
Daddy (her favorite word)
Hi
All Done (she mimics this one as I say it rather than saying it on her own)
Signs
Claps
More
Can touch her nose or your nose on request
High Five
Both Girls Understand the Following Spoken Words
No
Don’t Touch
Play the Piano
Splashes
Hugs
Snuggle
Nurse
Shake (as in Shaking a Musical Instrument)
Dance
Bounce
Come Here
More
All Done
Clap
Nose
Tummy
Eat
Drink
Milk (as in a sippy)
Where is … (mommy, sister, daddy, Bronwyn, Aeralind)?
The way is open (we say this when we open the gates on the stairs to indicate that they need to go upstairs and they come flying)
Book
Ball
Kisses (they’ll hold out hands for you to kiss)
High Five
