Nov
02
2010Well it’s been two weeks since I last nursed. The girls are carrying on like normal. I suffered a pretty severe plug 8 days after our last nursing. I no longer have a pump so I googled hand expression and then took Aeralind into the bedroom and had her latch on. She latched and gave me a hysterical look along the lines of “Are you serious? That stuff tastes weird!” However, she got the milk flowing and I was able to hand express the plug in two sessions. (Seriously, why didn’t anyone teach me hand expression before now! It would have been perfect in those early days!) 8 Cabbage leaves later and the worst was over.
Looking back, I am so glad I fought to nurse these children. My primary reason for breastfeeding was always financial: we couldn’t afford formula. However, I also know the scientific benefits and I loved that I wouldn’t have to clean bottles. But those first three months… whew. I would not have made it through except for that commitment and the support of my husband and the lactation staff at St. Francis.
Was it worth it? Yes. Even though I had to pump so much. Even though I had mastitis 3 times. Even though they didn’t latch skin to skin until three months. Even though I quit eating dairy for their sake. Even though I hated being a milk cow. Even though I hated pumping and also hated being stuck to their time table (as far as how long I could be away from them).
I will cherish those moments of close snuggling and the fact that my body was able to nourish those babies. I feel blessed that I stayed the course.
But I am so glad this season is over 🙂
To those of you reading these words and going through the initial stages of breastfeeding or considering breastfeeding your multiples, I would love to support you however I can. I put my story out there on the web to support you and I have made two friends because of it and been emailed a total of four times. I know that breastfeeding twins takes the support of many people and I would love to be able to assist you however you can.
Hang in there. It’s a wild ride, but remember, even in the thick of your worst day:
It’s only a season.
Nov
01
2010That woodpecker is outside again tapping on a new corner of my house.
My husband and his father made him a birdhouse and applied it right over the hole he had been carving.
It’s the perfect house for a woodpecker.
And he doesn’t want it.
What right does he have to reject a good gift crafted just for him?
And thinking about his rejection, I lower my head in shame for the many times I have done the same.
No thank you, God, I don’t want to spend the first summer of our married life laid off and unable to find work.
No thank you, God, I think I can solve this situation my way instead of waiting on you to answer.
No thank you, God, I don’t think your plan right here is good enough.
Last night, upon being woken by a moaning child for the 7th night in a row, I had a small victory (lets just say the other 6 times weren’t always victory.. ahem).
I laid there listening to her cry and I gave thanks.
I gave thanks that her lungs worked.
I gave thanks that she wanted to snuggle with us at night.
I gave thanks that she was able to eat cheerios at 4 am.
I gave thanks that my husband was so willing to run all over the freezing house collecting a cup and cheerios.
I gave thanks that I had been chosen to receive that precious child as a good and perfect gift.
And within about 40 minutes we were all asleep again in our cozy beds.
Giving thanks is shifting perspective day by day.
878. Cheerios and sippies and benadryl given in the middle of the night
879. Derek’s parents arriving safely
880. My father in law, Andy, replacing a built in desk with a cabinet in my kitchen
881. Cooking up a surprise with Derek’s mom
882. Apple cake with brown sugar frosting
883. Bronwyn cuddling with Andy
884. Aeralind leaning one Carol
885. A morning out with Derek (alone!) for Chick-fil-a
886. New red shoes
887. Aeralind in my moby wrap on a long hike
888. Bronwyn in a hiking backpack talking to her daddy
889. Going to bed early
890. Snuggling weather returning
891. Growing enough not to lose my temper or cry at my third package mishap
892. A message left to encourage Karen
893. Days spent at my sewing machine
894. The Tortoise and the Hare
895. Pumpkin Carving with the girls
896. A God who delights in giving good gifts to His children
Oct
25
2010Our church is doing a series on Total Marriage Fitness. It’s highly unusual for North Hills to do a series rather than preach/study through an entire book of the bible. So when these occasional series pop up (after studying through the book of Luke for 3 years!), the importance of the topical message is awe inspiring. Each Sunday is like going to a Marriage conference only with more time to digest what we’re hearing. I feel so blessed to be under this teaching.
Holistically, I’ve been thinking about my relationship with Derek. Having twins has rocked our world and their is so much temptation for the fallout of a bad day to land on him. For Derek to get a tongue lashing when I’m upset about something else. Or for us to simply neglect our relationship because of these high needs little ones.
The final point on yesterday’s message was about training our thoughts. About stopping those thoughts about our spouse that are not Truth and embracing those thoughts that are Truth. So today I’ll let you know what I appreciate in my husband so that I can train myself to think these things.
855. I appreciate that he rarely takes things seriously
856. That he’s always wanting peace before I’m done fuming about something.
857. How he forgives completely and immediately: Derek holds no grudges
858. How he makes tea on cold mornings
859. he tolerates cold natured me snuggling with him even when he’s burning up
860. He gets up and goes to work without complaining because he loves to provide for us
861. Oh the hugs!
862. He listens to me talk through stuff
863. He makes his daughters squeal with delight
864. He makes breakfast for his daughters almost daily
865. He’s always the first out of bed to check on a crying baby
866. He puts toothpaste on my tooth brush
867. He went English Country Dancing with me… even though he thought he would hate it (and he loved it)
868. He laughs about the time I got so mad at him for beating me in Stratego that I threw all the pieces at him
869. He looks yummy in a button down
870. He’s slightly obsessed with my legs
871. He prays for me daily
872. Everytime I sign onto Gmail I get a random “I love you” IM. Seriously, he stalks me.
873. He tells me to be a big girl when I need to hear it
874. He lets me cry when I’m not yet ready to be a big girl
875. He can run really fast
876. He’s the best kisser ever
877. He’s the one God chose for me 🙂
Oct
22
2010Wednesday morning the mom dairy closed for business (at least with this set).
13 months and 9 days is the final tally.
My Aunt Flow came for a visit and my supply usually drops during that time, the girls were being all crazy while nursing and I was just done.
So I closed up shop. It just seemed like perfect timing for all of us.
So far so good. But with all my issues with mastitis and no longer having access to a pump, I’m slightly nervous.
In any case: the fridge is stocked with cabbage and the medicine cabinet has ibuprofen in case mastitis comes and both birth control pills and sudafed to slow up production if things start getting ugly.
Let me tell you as sad as I am that this time is over, I am glad I’m done.
I feel so free.
And the girls are happy as clams drinking coconut milk from their straw cups.
I fought the good fight. I saved us a ton of money. I did the hardest thing I’ve ever done and I have two precious 19lb babies/toddlers to show for it.
I say it’s a win/win situation 🙂
