Jul
18
2013Sometimes stories are hard to tell. I’ve procrastinated on this one for a long time because I’m not sure I can bear to tell it. But I am not the Author of this story and I do not know what glory awaits at the final ending.
Stephanie is a single mom. I don’t know all the particulars and they’re not mine to tell, but shortly after the child in her womb began to move, her husband left.
Stephanie worked and mourned and waited. She worked a local ice cream joint that gives free cones to children under a certain height. I remember seeing her long before our session. She smiled as she passed my children a cone. A smile that whispered hope: children are a gift. Hope that I needed on that warm late fall day when my son had likely woken me long before day’s first light.
The Stephanie I met in the studio: she was the same. Quiet patient hope. Smiling gently to her newborn Ethan and thanking Jesus for him as she rocked him to gentle slumber.
I’m showing you this whole session in black and white because it evokes all the emotion I feel thinking back to this day.
Jul
17
2013
It’s Wednesday here at Quiet Graces and that means today is the day where wives are digging in to the dirt in our own marriage and, with God’s grace, growing it better wives. Today I’m writing a bit about my most recent struggle with words.
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There’s a part of humility that scares me: the part where I let down my walls and let you (or my husband) right down into my mess. It’s not so much anymore that I really care what people think. Although before 3 children in 25 months, my level of humility was always outweighed by my people pleasing perfectionism. But after living in that tough season, I know showing you my mess encourages you in yours.
The truth is sometimes I don’t like sharing my mess because it holds me accountable to growth.
This last month as I lived and worked out my focus on words, I had a a number of failings that all boil down to two things (Which I’ll tell you in at the end. Enjoy the suspense!)
My husband’s job has recently begun to require travel. He’s been gone for 10+ working days in the last 3 or so months. This last trip was hard. He was scheduled to leave early Sunday and I was counting on having Saturday to just lay around and recharge. My husband walks in the house on Friday at 4:30, rather unexpectedly, and informs me he’ll be leaving at 6 am on Saturday.
I flipped my lid. I flew off the handle. I boiled over. I was madder than a hornet’s nest. You can pick your metaphor: but I was filthy angry.
Really? Who can be mad at this innocent face?
I yelled (and in front of the kids, too. Yikes!). I might have repeated that sequence a couple of different times. I might have sequestered myself in a room for a bit. I pulled it together still simmering for a family dinner out. But I had a client expecting me that evening. I was still seething on the way home from the ordering session. I had to call a friend (actually I went through three before I could find the one the Lord needed me to talk to) just to calm down enough to be semi-reasonable.
Here’s the deal: part of my anger was righteous. My husband had made a decision without consulting me (though he had tried to text me, but I didn’t get my phone) that hurt both me and my little ones by taking him away for a whole extra day.
My angry vomit of words, however, was not righteous. I’m pretty sure that Jesus knows the best discipline for me is often utter failure. (<—Click to Tweet) I learn more from tripping over my own mess than a lifetime of someone telling me to clean up already.
Derek’s trip this last time was to Oregon. He got to see 60 new life birds including that last warbler in his Eastern birds book (for a lifelong birder in 2-3 days: that’s a big deal). He saw the Pacific Ocean. He got to go out to eat on the company for 3 meals a day and make some new friends. He came home and told me (and anyone who would listen) all about his trip.
Do you see where this is going? Yeah, I’m jealous. I don’t get a paid vacation to an exotic locale, away from my children, and all by my introverted self ever. Never happened for me. And really, it’s not all that likely to happen.
I was pretty angry about this injustice. But this time the Lord was gracious. Rather than vomiting words all over Derek, I called Julia whose husband also travels. I asked her how she deals with the jealousy. I cried a bunch about my ugly heart.
When there was an opportunity, I asked Derek to please stop telling me about his trip. I told him that jealousy was rearing it’s ugly head and I needed him to protect me from my own filthy heart.
You ever notice how that is music to your husband’s ears? Say it sometime: “Honey, I need you to protect me from…” Just a little side note. That one is free; you’ll thank me later.
But do you see what my Jesus did in my heart? Do you see how He changed me in just over two weeks of living? I went from a woman who flew off the handle in a sinful way over something that I had a right to be angry for (but not a right to treat him in that manner) to a woman who called someone before spewing angry words to work through my own sinful mess before calmly telling my husband what I needed.
That first incident resulted in this scripture proving true of me:
Do you see a man who is hasty in his words?
There is more hope for a fool than for him.
Proverbs 29:20
That second scenario kind of had this feeling on both sides:
A word fitly spoken
is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.Proverbs 25:11
Isn’t it amazing the way that He works in us? Now, I’m not saying I’ve got this word thing down. I”m sure today and tomorrow and the next I will fail again and again and again. But I am saying, that I’m kinda startled at my reaction in this second scenario. Was that person who spoke calmly and rationally to my husband really me? Yes… through the power of Christ working through me… I have changed a little. Moved just a little closer to who He created me to be.
Now back to my little cliff-hanger. What do these two word incidents have in common? Anger and discontent. So ladies, that’s where I’m digging in over the next four weeks while Elizabeth, Danielle, Sarah, and Julia treat you with their words and growth.
Tell me: where do you struggle with anger and discontent in marriage? Do you have any words of advice for me as I embark on this new journey?
Jul
16
2013Over the course of the next couple weeks we’re going to learn about one of the key aspects of all photography: light. This post is going a definition of terms overview. It’s here for you to refer to when I use these terms but it’s also here to help you think about these different types of lighting as you’re taking your photos.
Lighting Types
Natural Light
Natural light is this overarching umbrella of photographers who use only the light available to them (and sometimes a reflector). When some photographers use this term, they literally mean the light is natural: coming from the sun, moon, or stars. I have included available light under this umbrella: meaning your light source might be a florescent or incandescent light bulb or even a computer screen 🙂
Full Sun
Full Sun is just what it sounds like. Full sun bearing down on your subject without shade. When most photographers think of full sun it’s between the hours of 10-3 or 4. The sun is high and harsh creating lots of shadows.
Open Shade
When Photographers use the term open shade, we’re referring to placing our subject in a large even shadow and facing them toward the sunlight or reflected light. This is a technique that makes shooting in full sun much less harsh. Dappled shade, or light filtering through something like tree leaves, has a quality of some shady spots and some spots of bright light. This is a far less desirable for portraits.
Available Light
Available light is the light we have available to us. Full sun and open shade both feature available light. Shooting a ballet using only the stage lights already present is using available light. Shooting your sleeping child in the bed next to you using only the light of your laptop is using available light. Available light imagery does not permit the use of light modifiers or flash. This entire course has a focus on available light.
Modified Light
Modified Light is light that a photographer either reflects using specific tools or creates through the use of on camera or off camera flash.
Reflector
A reflector is a white, silver, or gold instrument used to reflect available light into the shadowed areas of your image. You can purchase a ready made reflector for this purpose or you can use something simple like a white poster board or white wall/light cement (after placing your subject intentionally). In my newborn photography, I wear a white shirt to reflect light back to my babies and I sometimes have a parent hold up a burp cloth if I think the shadowed side of the baby needs an extra boost.
On Camera Flash
If you’re using an entry level DSLR/DSLT or a point and shoot (and most of you are), your camera comes equipped with on-camera flash. If your camera also has a hotshoe, you can place an additonal flash unit directly on top of the camera. Throughout this course I have discouraged the use of on-camera flash, but in an upcoming lesson I will show you how and when to use this tool.
Off Camera Flash
Off Camera Flash or lighting is just what you envision being used in a traditional portrait studio. We automatically think of umbrellas and flashes that pop out extra light when the photographer clicks the shutter release. But there are also big large white boxes with lights inside called softboxes. And there are lights that produce the same amount of light at all times called continuous lighting (which I use). I will not be covering off camera flash during this class. I’m have very little knowledge on this subject and most of you will likely never use off-camera flash.
Light Direction
One of the most important concepts in photography is paying attention to the direction of your light.
Front or Flat
When a soft light is in front of your subject, you’ll produce images with flat or even lighting. If the light is bright and harsh, you’ll find your subject squinting.
Side Lighting
Side lighting when used well produces beautiful shadows and depth to a photo. Photographers use side light from both 90 and 45 degrees in portraits (as well as the range between). I’ll be going over both of these in detail.
Back Lighting
Back lighting is when the light source is coming from behind the subject. Backlighting produces yummy images with light streaming from behind or outlining your subject, but is very hard to expose for the skin of a portrait subject if you’re not using a large reflector to bounce light back toward your subject. Most back lit photos that are not silhouettes (like the one above) have a significant amount of work done to them in post processing unless a light modifier was used to make sure a portrait subject was not too dark.
Assignment
Real simple assignment this week. I want you to find some images you’ve already created (or take some new ones if you have time) that illustrate some of these lighting types. Upload a couple of your favorites to the Quiet Graces Free Beginner Photography Class Flickr pool and label it with the lighting type you think you used. Class members can give critique on the image itself and I’ll verify that you got the lighting type right. This is solely an exercise to get you seeing the light. 🙂
Jul
15
2013Refining my Focus
I’ve been clicking camera shutters and tapping at the keys here at Quiet Graces for four years now. I never intended to start a business in that season with two 9 month old girls. I simply gifted a friend with an album of her yearly Easter gathering and then she asked me to do family portraits, and then another friend asked me to do portraits, and then two people who I barely knew on Facebook asked me how much I charged.
The God-sized dream of my 16 year old heart just fell in my lap and I didn’t even think the time was right.
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in these first four years; yet the Lord has given me the most gracious and merciful clients who have walked with me through these learning experiences. I’m so grateful for each one of you who has allowed me the privilege of capturing your lives.
Back in January, I wrote about how I need to say “no” to some things in order to pursue the things I need to say “yes” to. One of those things was limiting my business to just 2-3 sessions a month so that I can focus on my family. For those of you who don’t know, my primary calling is to be a stay at home mom. I have three precious children 3 years of age and under and I spend my days loving and learning with/from them. I have regular “office hours” during nap/quiet time. I sometimes work an hour or two in the evenings after the kids are in bed to finish editing a session. I often blog in the fringe hours.
My children are my most important calling.
So the first change that I need to make to this business is stop doing lifestyle family sessions in this season of my children’s childhood. I love doing these sessions. I love laughing as dad tickles his child or as mom whispers soothing words in a child’s ears. I love seeing water fights or mothers teach children to bake grandma’s recipe. I love documenting real life as it occurs. But regular family sessions aren’t fair to my children. They take mommy away at dinner and bed times and fill my already busy evenings.
For the time being, I will be focusing my business solely on Maternity, Birth, Newborn, and One Year Sessions.
I will, however, offer opportunities for lifestyle family mini-sessions that will include full resolution digital negatives in both the spring and fall of each year. These mini-sessions will only have 4 open slots. If mini-sessions are something you’re interested in, please subscribe to my newsletter here to be the first to know the dates of those events. And if you’re not local, but love my work or my writing, sign up for the newsletter, too! I’ll be featuring much more than just dates and specials in these bimonthly newsletters.
Price Changes
My second announcement is a pricing change.
My business has been what most would call a “hobby business.” A business where I pull in just enough money to cover the products I’ve supplied for my clients, purchase new or much needed gear and just few newborn props (or the supplies to hand make them), an occasional learning experience for me to improve my art, and to pay the sweet babysitters who watch my children so I can photograph yours.
I have never once cut myself a paycheck.
If I had forgone some of my purchases and given myself a paycheck, I might have been able to pay myself $5 an hour. I take a well lit and exposed straight out of the camera shot like these two and turn it into a piece of art for clients. There’s hours of work involved in that process for all of a client’s images and I love doing it. I love even more when my clients value the resulting images.
But, again, I do my work at the expense of taking time away from my family. And it’s time to start rewarding myself and my family with a paycheck that would allow our family to afford things like gymnastics, a weekend trip to the beach, or the simple blessing of being able to sponsor another Compassion child or two. These are things that we’re not able to do on my husbands salary at this time despite his ample provision for all our daily needs.
The artist in me rebels against price changes in the same way that you as a client must feel reading this. I create art from your life simply to capture the glory of God, but it’s also a means that God has provided for our family to make some extra income. I will be transparent enough to say that outside of the expense of running a business (business license, insurance, sales tax, federal taxes, used but new to me gear when required, editing software, cost of client products, studio samples, and the occasional education experience), my goal for the next 12 months is to bring home just $7000 in take-home pay while still maintaining my commitment to take only 3 sessions a month.
Summary of Price Changes
My new pricing will go into affect on July 15th, 2013 (that’s today!). If you’ve already booked a session with me that falls after that date, rest assured that nothing will change for you. However, if you’d like to apply your session fee toward the purchase of one of my new packages, please let me know!
Your session fee of $250 will be required to secure your session date and $150 of that amount will be applied to order your chosen products (with the exception of birth/welcome home sessions)
My goal as an artist is to create a piece of art that your family will treasure. I want to see you enjoying my art on your wall or a stunning album on your coffee table. I want your guests to look through and exclaim over your beautiful stories and I want your piece of art to inspire you to verbally tell these stories to your children. When I have a camera in my hand, this is always my desired outcome. Yet I know that clients want digital files for making scrapbooks or albums or gifting small prints to the grandparents or for birth announcements or Christmas cards.
When I designed each of my 4 collections, I kept both of these end goals in mind: you will have a a beautiful piece of art of your choosing and a selection of digital files with a print release. The products I’ve selected to offer make my heart sing: they’re simply gorgeous. I can’t wait to share them with you in the coming weeks!
A more detailed look at my session pricing can be found on my Investment Page. If you’d like to see my detailed Pricing Magazine, please Contact Me.
Thank you all for your grace as I work through these changes. I’ve been so blessed by the most wonderful clients I could have asked for.
Jul
12
2013My husband’s work recently added travel so I’ve been doing a lot of solo parenting. Whew! This is hard stuff. So I thought I’d share some encouraging links here for me to come back to and you to enjoy.
Maybe I’ll do this sort of thing every week because we all need a little encouragement in our everyday beautiful mess.
Parenting in Weakness
I think I need to hear this everyday. By far one of my best reads all week long!
Motherhood is the loving vessel through which God seeks to highlight his sufficiency and ability, and grow your sense of his faithfulness because of his pure and sinless life, his provision on the cross, and his substitution of your dead end with his new beginning.
6 Stories Every Mom Should Tell
I love stories… but I often forget to tell them to my children. The only one the girls know on this list is their birth story. This will inspire you to tell a story rather than listening to cries of “Are we there yet?” on your summer journeys.
5 Ways to Awaken your Dreams for Motherhood
I’ve been on this God-sized dream journey for over a half year now… but what if I were dreaming bigger dreams for my children?
When they Ask you What You Did Today
For those everyday sort of days when you find the dishes all over the counter, the laundry piled taller than your tallest child, and the toys in all the rooms of the house: this is what you did today.
Embracing Motherhood. Perfection in the Imperfection.
So instead of thinking you are behind or not measuring up or making excuses for your hair being in a ponytail as you quick run to the grocery store for milk and bread – hold your head high. It’s that real part of you. The part under the layers. The real, raw beautiful part that so often gets lost in the busy that isn’t imperfect but is truly perfect.
