Jul
18
2013Sometimes stories are hard to tell. I’ve procrastinated on this one for a long time because I’m not sure I can bear to tell it. But I am not the Author of this story and I do not know what glory awaits at the final ending.
Stephanie is a single mom. I don’t know all the particulars and they’re not mine to tell, but shortly after the child in her womb began to move, her husband left.
Stephanie worked and mourned and waited. She worked a local ice cream joint that gives free cones to children under a certain height. I remember seeing her long before our session. She smiled as she passed my children a cone. A smile that whispered hope: children are a gift. Hope that I needed on that warm late fall day when my son had likely woken me long before day’s first light.
The Stephanie I met in the studio: she was the same. Quiet patient hope. Smiling gently to her newborn Ethan and thanking Jesus for him as she rocked him to gentle slumber.
I’m showing you this whole session in black and white because it evokes all the emotion I feel thinking back to this day.
May
23
2013My session with this dear family started like most with a simple inquiry in my Facebook messages.
But this wasn’t the normal sort of photography inquiry. In fact, it had nothing to do with photography at all. Diane and Titus had just been selected by a birth mom pregnant with twins and wanted to pick the brain of the only woman they knew with young twins: me.
One thing led to another after I dumped my unused double stroller, registry advice, and lots of crazy pep talks on Diane, I begged to photograph the babies. I’m pretty shameless. 🙂 Adoption is expensive and I like to love on adoptive families however I can. So a session with the most gorgeous twins I’ve ever laid eyes on (besides my own), was sooo exciting that it was a gift.
However, as a twin mom, it wasn’t the best gift I could give. The best gift were words of comfort when I heard Diane had hit the 2-4 month absolutely exhausted slump. I wrote down how difficult it is to like two beings who rarely let you sleep more than 2 hours straight and yet whom you love dearly. The first 5 or so months of twin motherhood is pure survival mode. It’s hard. I’m not saying it’s not worth it, because I love being a twin mom. But there are moments in those first months where I would have handed over my babies to that kind old stranger lady in the grocery store who uttered the words “I always wanted twins” just to go home and nap. There are moments where somehow the grace of God eased me through, but I still have no idea how I and the babies survived. And I want new twin mothers to hear that it’s okay to have those feelings and those moments.
I come to love each session more than the last… but I have to say this is one of my very favorite sessions ever. Diane and Titus, thank you for letting me talk you into coming for a session! It was a true gift for me to snuggle your new ones.
I had some help from the lovely Mayfield Photography for this session. She shot some spectacular detail images and was also the hands behind my composite shots!
Apr
05
2013Sometimes I feel so unable and unworthy to tell His story. I find it more natural (but still scary) to share how my raw story intertwines with His because I am constantly processing His work with a pen.
Yet telling client stories is so much harder. I fear that I will tell the story wrong or that I will share too much or too little. I worry, perhaps very foolishly, that my words will not bring Him glory.
However, Jesus is sovereign over even my pen. And my clients read these humble words of mine before I ever press publish… so why should I fear?
Mariam’s Story
I’m four stories behind. So let me start with Mariam.
Mariam, too, processes her world by placing ink on paper. With the onset of each season of morning sickness, Mariam selects a jouranl and scratches down words to encourage the new life within.
Her two beautiful girls, Isabella and Alista, have journals brimming with memories, laughter, and recorded words of prayer. Newborn Lazaro’s journal is already filled with nearly a year of the same writing gifts though he is only 2 months old at the time of this writing. But there is a fourth journal whose writing now is sparse: that dear child has departed to sit at the feet of Jesus.
The five in this family have walked a healing journey through Lazaro’s pregnancy and birth. A healing both painful and profoundly filled with the peaceful presence of Christ.
Relationship Focused Newborn Photography
When Mariam and I were planning this session, she specifically asked for relationship focused newborn photography. She wanted us to capture the journey of healing as a family and how precious their relationships have become through this season of intermingled grief and joy. My heart sang at this request because telling stories like these are why I clumsily pick up both a pen and a camera.
Mariam’s session has so many beautiful images that I have had a very difficult time narrowing down what I want to show you.
Lazaro’s many smiles, the shy smiles and then laughter of Isabella and Alista as I sang Pete the Cat, the way Haro has the power to have a whole room fall over in laughing tears, Mariam’s joy in knowing that His will is always the best…
I hope you’ll see glimpses of all these things in the following images.
Jan
24
2013
Starting around the time that I was in the process of writing my Life Statement, I’ve had a string of sessions that are right in the middle of living their beautiful-mess with grace. First, there was Karen with her heartbreaking story of trusting wholly in the grace of God. And then there was this session with fellow photographer Amanda of MyOhmanda Artistry and Photography. But then again, maybe God has just opened my eyes to the messy beautiful more because of that Life Statement. In any case, let me share a little of Amanda’s life with you.
Amanda’s had a rough year. Her mother, who diligently prayed Amanda through some rough situations in her life, went home to be with the Savior this year. Her hopes for a VBAC were crushed. And she has two boys 4 and under and was expecting a third. Children that young just make life joyfully ridiculously full of unexpected mess.
Micah came on the very special date of 12/12/12 as a little reminder of how many unexpected ways God blesses us through pain and through joy. I don’t know the end of this story, but I do know that like all parts of His story it’s going to point to the gospel: the story that our perfect doesn’t have to be perfect because He loves us enough to die for us despite our failings. I’m excited to have been introduced to the joy of walking with her through this season.
My personal favorite part of Micah’s Session is the Greenville, SC mother and baby newborn photography images we took. Amanda was so willing to get in the picture with her family. It’s not easy as woman to see yourself in images and try not to listen to that evil voice that says we should look a certain way. It’s even harder to get in the photograph right after you’ve had a c-section and it’s physically painful to do so. But Amanda wanted to be in the picture. Having just lost her mom, she knows how valuable ever single image of her mother is. Her boys will always treasure these images.
Even this family image is precious. It’s real life lived gracefully with a 4 and 1 year old plus a newborn. The joy, the laughter, the tantrums, the tears, and the sheer absurdity of each day all rolled up in one image. (Does Newborn Micah really have his eyebrow raised as if to say, “Who are these people?!”)
Don’t worry, we did get one great image of all three boys together. A miracle image if I do say so myself!
Here’s just a sneak peak of all of the rest of the adorableness in this session.
Amanda, it was a real honor to be invited into your life during this hard season. Thank you for choosing me to capture your Greenville, SC Mother and Baby Newborn Photography.
Dec
21
2012
A Different Type of Story
When I photograph families or children, I try to tell you the beautiful stories. The funny ones. The silly moments. The laughter. The pure joy.
But pure joy it has two sides: the crazy-beautiful (those I can’t believe this joy actually happened to me moments) and the ugly-beautiful. There is a word in English for the crazy-beautiful joy- miracle. But in English there is no words to encapsulate the ugly-beautiful.
And yet the ugly-beautiful is the climax of all the best stories every told. The moment you realize that Old Dan and Little Anne aren’t going to make it after they battle a mountain lion to protect Billy in Where the Red Fern Grows. The moment where Despereaux goes back down to the dungeon to save the one he loves even though the odds are stacked against him. The moment you realize Charlotte has spun her last web and Wilbur won’t have her anymore. That split second where Frodo pus on the Ring of Power right there inside of Mount Doom and all of Middle Earth is hanging in the balance. The moment they roll the stone in front of Jesus’ tomb on a dark Friday afternoon.
My friend Karen (above!) and her husband Shamus’s story is full of this ugly-beautiful. And I feel like it needs to be told even in my 3rd person voice so that it may speak directly to the heart of one of my readers. Bear with me in the telling because no matter how ugly-beautiful things become know that joy is coming.
Karen and Shamus’s Ugly-Beautiful Story
On August 5th, 2010 I was driving to some play date grossly pregnant with Sedryn and just hoping to wear my 2 two year olds out so I could take a nap. My phone rang. I still remember Karen’s voice. “Melissa, I lost Baby #3… they can’t do the D & C until tomorrow. I don’t need to be alone… can I come over?” Karen and I were just mere acquaintances at this time, and to this day, I still regret not driving home and having her over. Oh, but Karen, she took refuge in a God who gave far more comfort than I ever could.
This song gave Karen so much comfort, and you can read more of her faithful reaction to this miscarriage here.
Karen’s and my lives intersected more deeply later when I was sleepless and exhausted with a very sinful attitude toward my own baby #3 and she drew me into her small group. She loved me when I was pretty hard to love and struggling with sin that she may have wished she’d still have the opportunity to struggle with. She challenges me weekly on following Christ in very practical ways. She actually called me in the middle of writing this post to reflect to me a behavior that I need some growth in (ouch and Amen!).
Karen and Shamus’s arms were empty on March 1, 2012, the last possible day that Baby #3 could have been born. And on that same day Karen, penned these tear drenched words.
On Thursday, December 4, 2008, God gave us Jay. On Friday, May 7, 2010, God gave us Ben. Two miracles. On Thursday, March 1, 2012, God gave me rest, fellowship, wisdom, laughter, entertainment, His Word, order, romance, and peace. What would you call those things?
When I cry about losing our precious daughter, I remember who God is. I remember that He is holding her along with the rest of His children. When I cry, I cry on God’s shoulder. That is called Comfort. You might have had comfort before. But you can’t have Comfort unless you have Christ. And I have Him. So I have everything.
Comfort from your Creator: that’s also a miracle.
Content in All Things?
On Sunday, May 6 our whole shepherding group was seated together at our annual outdoor service. The kids were elbow deep in play dough or sidewalk chalk when Karen pulled me aside to whisper that Baby #4 was on the way. Our hearts all left that worship service full in so many ways.
Two days later Baby #4 was in the arms of Jesus. This time I was privileged to hold my friend while she wept. But even more so, I was able to watch in awe as this second miscarriage transformed Karen and Shamus even more. Watching Karen and Shamus vulnerably process their grief in light of the Cross of Jesus is truly one of the biggest miracles I have ever experienced. It’s mostly impossible for me to summarize their transformation… so I’ll just once again quote Karen.
MONDAY, MAY 7, 2012
I wrote this journal entry:
I truly want to love Baby #4. But I’m too afraid to commit. Last time I committed with my whole heart and when Baby #3 died my heart crumbled. Can I handle that again? YES! Of course I can, because I know what it is to be pregnant and I know what it is to miscarry and I know what it is to have life with my child and I know what it is to have life without my child- I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation; whether listening to my child sing scripture or digging a grave for my lost baby…
I can’t finish that statement the way Paul does. I want to so badly. And that makes my body shake with weeping.
SUNDAY, MAY 13, 2012Mother’s Day
Peter preached on Philippians 4:4-7
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
These verses are just before Paul says this:
Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
(Philippians 4:11-13 ESV)
That’s the secret I wanted to say I knew last week. And I couldn’t.MONDAY, MAY 14, 2012
If we miscarry again, we can rejoice. Which is not the same as being happy. We can rejoice in the midst of deep sadness.
Can I say that I am content in any and every situation? I can say that Christ died for my sins and I am redeemed and reborn and growing to be like Him and saved from eternal punishment, no matter what my situation. And that brings joy every time I say it.
Every good and perfect gift is from above. A child is a good and perfect gift. If God puts another child in my womb, it will be like Christmas morning when you’re 7 years old! A gift! The one we wanted most!
We know that we will struggle with anxiety and fear apart from a particular miracle. But we will refuse to struggle with love.
Karen has a hat for each of her four children.
Soon she’ll need another one.
And Shamus and Karen are anticipating the birth of Zan with so much joyful hope, but only by the grace of God. For through their suffering, they have learned the secret of being content. Not the secret of happiness, but the one of joy. Joy in a God who gives the greatest gift, His Son.
Karen’s Lifestyle Maternity Photography Session
Now I’ll just let you feast your eyes on the fun we had at the Cronin’s lifestyle maternity photography session. I love these two!
